Cambodia wasn’t supposed to be an emotional rollercoaster. But then again, neither was my plan to leave the states in the first place. What started as a long-anticipated pilgrimage to Angkor Wat ended up testing my flexibility, patience, and pest tolerance in ways I didn’t see coming. From awe-inspiring sunrises and thousand-year-old temples in Siem Reap to baby roaches and buyer’s remorse in Sihanoukville, those three weeks turned out to be less of a vacation and more of a lesson in pivoting… emotionally, logistically, and spiritually. And while it didn’t go as planned (does it ever?), it gave me some perspective I didn’t know I needed.
I became OBSSESSED with the multitude of archways and doorways that made up the temple complexes.
Ascending to “Heaven” at Angkor Wat…
Siem Reap
Angkor Wat, and therefore, by extension, Siem Reap, has been on my bucket list for almost thirty years (GOOD GAWD I’m getting old, LMAO). So when it came time for my first visa run since touching down in Thailand, Cambodia was an obvious choice.
Maybe it’s because I was already starting to hit an emotional solitude wall, but Siem Reap is the first place I’ve visited that made me wish I had someone, a partner, friend, even a situationship (LOL… but not really LOL… but LOL), to share it with.
Since leaving the States, I’ve been lucky to see friends or family every few months: March: Mom/UK > May: Sara/Barcelona > June: Jae & Sav/South Korea > August: Back in States > September: Tonga/Barbados > October: Mom/Barbados > Holidays: Back in States. But that steady stream of familiar faces dried up when I arrived in Thailand in February, and it’s now been over four months since I’ve spent meaningful time with anyone who truly knows me.
So yes—CONFIRMED—the solo travel/digital nomad lifestyle can get lonely at times. But if you have to be lonely, is there any better place than a nearly thousand-year-old temple complex to feel small, awed, and deeply human?
As you might have surmised from some of my other posts, I am NOT a travel research girlie. I don’t spend hours looking at all the things to do and see in a new place, or curate packed itineraries full of the best attractions, restaurants, and dive bars. But for this one, it was different. This was too long a trip in the making to simply wing it.
The school right in front of my Airbnb in Siem Reap, as seen at 4:30 AM while on my way to the temples.
One more Angkor Wat doorway/arch combo pic for the road…
Angkor Wat
There’s something surreal about standing in a place that predates your history, your language, even your concept of time. The carvings. The crumbling faces. The massive, primordial trees reaching into the sky and seemingly even into time itself. The awe-inspiring act of nature reclaiming what man once mastered. Everything felt simultaneously permanent and ephemeral.
It’s hard not to get a little existential (and not in my usual crisis way, lol) in Angkor Wat. And even though I was “solo,” I never really felt alone inside the complex. There were monks in saffron robes taking selfies. Tourists whispering and praying. Locals laughing with tuk-tuk drivers waiting to jettison their passengers to the next set of ruins on the tour. It was alive in the most human way, showing nothing had changed in the last 900 years, even though so much clearly has.
Perhaps this is where some of the feelings of wanting a travel buddy came in. The bike tours I tried to book required a minimum of two people. The expanded zipline adventure? Same thing. In fact, from the moment I touched down, there was a sense of “single shame”. I don’t think it was malicious or intentional, but it was overt nonetheless. At the airport, the Grab attendant asked me if I was traveling alone (not in a we’re going to kidnap you kinda way, she was literally just curious). Same thing working from Starbucks and at the Zipline when I arrived for my not-as-fancy SOLO zipline experience.
Nonetheless, laidback Siem Reap, and the temples it was built around were AMAZING. You have to purchase a park pass ($37 for the day) to access the 144 acres of grounds and temples that make up Angkor Wat. With that, I also booked a tuk-tuk driver for the day to take me to five of the major temples in the complex. This included Angkor Wat at sunrise, the “Tomb Raider” temple, and Bayan Temple, which ended up being my favorite.
I included a little more detailed info and links on the tickets, tours and ziplines in my Shit You Probably Haven’t Thought of… Cambodia post. Feel free to peruse it for more relevant info if you’re planning on visiting anytime soon.
One of the few moments without rain in Sihanoukville and Koh Rang.
Nature reclaims what man once mastered…
Sihanoukville & Koh Rang
I planned my trip to Sihanoukville expecting beaches, bliss, and budget-friendly vibes. Instead, I got with rain, roaches, and regret. Looking back, Sihanoukville gave me all the red flags of a narcissist ex-boyfriend, but my general optimism for travel and experiencing new countries and cultures made me discard them.
Red Flag #1: In all my years of adult travel, I’ve never had a flight get cancelled. Whether is was due to the airline or location, my flight to Sihanoukville was cancelled not just once, but twice, and I was forced to cancel my flight altogether and take an overnight bus to Sihanoukville.
Red Flag #2: When I got off the bus from Siem Reap, the attendant from the bus company immediately asked if I needed a ticket to the islands (Koh Rang). When I told her I wasn’t going to the islands, she still insisted I needed a ticket to leave. When I told her again that I was staying, she repeated: “Oh… you’re staying?!” The look of shock really said it all, but again, I dismissed it.
Red Flag #3: From the moment I got off the bus, the vibes were just OFF. I rarely say or feel that, but you know sometimes you go to places and the energy just doesn’t quite sit right? That was this. It was rainy, dirty, and there were soooo many stray dogs (*le tear*). Nothing overt happened, but something was just not quite right either.
Red Flag #4: When I got to the apartment, the host met me and was very welcoming. However, that quickly turned to her being overly nice and complimentary (and not in the way most people are genuinely kind in this part of the world) combined with unprompted mentions of how her pay would be docked if there are any complaints about the apartment. Ok… nothing overly alarming, but after having just come off a lovebomb/idealization/devaluation cycle-type relationship in Barbados, the unsettling sense of déjà vécu was palpable. rain
The best thing about leaving Sihanoukville… LEAVING.
While not Doctor recommended, four weeks of stomach bug sure will have your ab shadows looking yummy 😀
Red flags aside, I moved my stuff into the apartment and promptly left to go grab some food and get a lay of the land. Immediately across the street was a mall, so I figured I’d grab some supplies from the pharmacy (I was still dealing with the residual effects of getting food poisoning or something weeks early) and then hit the grocery store. Long story short, other than the pharmacy and Starbucks, NO BUSINESSES took debit or credit cards. Not in the mall, not outside the mall, not down the street, nor around the corner. Given my sickness, vegetarian diet, and now limited food supply, any hope of a low-key, simple 10 days relaxing by the beach quickly went out the door.
Flash forward to that evening, and again, trying to keep the complaining to a minimum, I had unexpected house guests: Baby Roaches… EVERYWHERE. When I informed the apartment, they told me to “just put something on them. They’ll die.” I’m sorry, WHAT?!?! A few hours and many baby roaches later, I demanded a new room. I was accommodated the next morning, but was completely unsettled, even with no clear signs of roach activity, so I decided to “escape” to the islands I had heard so much about for a few days.
Koh Rang was OK. Nothing bad happened, but it’s not somewhere I would go out of my way for again. It was raining most of the time I was there, so I cut my time a little short and went back to Sihanoukville. After an afternoon working at Starbies, I went back to the apartment for the first time since heading to Koh Rang and…. drum roll please…. Yep, baby roaches.
That was it for me. I couldn’t move into the apartment I booked in Jomtien (back in Thailand) early, and tensions between Thailand and Cambodia had caused several border crossings to shut down during my trip. I needed to fly out of Phnom Penh to get back to Thailand anyway, so I booked a bus ticket at 1 AM, left Sihanoukville behind, and decided to spend the extra few days in the capital. I also treated myself to a proper hotel (no more budget Airbnbs) and made a quiet vow (with a public Instagram post) that I’d never return to the bad place.
I found this elevator far more entertaining than I should have… Where’s Outkast when you REALLY need them?!?
Phnom Penh… as seen from my hotel rooftop.
Phnom Penh
I’ve never been to a country I just flat out didn’t like, but after spending almost those 5ish days in Sihanoukville and Koh Rang, I started to think Cambodia just wasn’t for me. Thank God I decided to bite the bullet and spend money I didn’t have to escape to escape and stay in Phnom Penh. The host in Sihanoukville refused to even consider a refund for my unused days, but by the time I arrived in the capital of Cambodia, Airbnb corporate had refunded me. It wasn’t raining. My hotel was GORGEOUS, big, and comfortable, and I could pay for things in all the ways: Cash, credit, debit, and Apple Pay (not even Thailand has many Apple Pay opportunities).
The vibes were right, my time was productive, and honestly, Phnom Penh would be an amazing city to live and work in as a digital nomad for a few months. I didn’t explore a ton, since my time there fell during a busy work week, but I moved around enough to soak in some of the energy and culture. It has big city vibes, but more on the scale of a Dallas or Chiang Mai (definitely not as overwhelming as New York City or Bangkok). Flying out of PNH was also a breeze: it took less than 10 minutes to check my bags, clear customs and security, and get to my gate.
The pool at my hotel on Phnom Penh was gorge… a photoshoot was required.
A quick pickup while in Cambodia…
So that’s it. That’s the long and short of my time in Cambodia. Some good. Some bad. And more than a few life lessons. It wasn’t the trip I imagined, but maybe that’s the point. Travel, especially the long-haul, slow-travel, solo-digital-nomad kind, isn’t about curating highlight reels. It’s about adaptation. Perspective. Learning when to lean in and when to get the hell out. Cambodia gave me all of that, wrapped in temples, tuk-tuks, and more pivots than a basketball game. Would I go back? To Siem Reap and Phnom Penh… absofuckinglutely. But The Bad Place? Never again.
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