Midlife Sidequests & Hong Kong Clarity

This is a combined life update post, as well as an insight into the basics of visiting Hong Kong. If you’re looking for the “Shit you should know, but probably haven’t thought of…” portion of this post, scroll just past the product feature.

Another 90 days in Thailand came and went, and this time it felt so much quicker. A major contributor? My son, my hijo, my world, my life, came to visit me in Bangkok in August. He stayed for two whole weeks, and for a moment, I got my heart back. We went shopping in Bangkok’s one million malls, ate ALL THE FOOD, had deeply personal and eye-opening conversations, and continued our favorite go-to quality-time activity by seeing F1 at the movies. Shit, we even went skydiving, an act I NEVER thought would be part of my story. But damn, that shit was fun

I know I’m biased, but my kid is fucking amazing. He’s almost 22, goes to school, has a good job, is a great pet parent, and has been in a loving relationship for almost three years. Where I failed in early (ie: all) adulthood, he is flourishing, and even if that’s “boring” (his words, not mine), it’s something I am exceptionally grateful for. As he’s gotten older and I’ve gotten healthier, especially mentally, my kid has become my sounding board, never afraid to give me hard truths, and no matter how deep the cut, his words have always come from love and have never steered me wrong. 

It was during our two weeks together that many of the scrambled thoughts and ideas I’ve been flirting with over the last several months began taking shape, allowing more of my vices and shortcomings to also become clearer. The most apparent of these is that I am always doing too much. Even in the midst of running on empty, I am always trying to do more: get my finances in order, rebuild my business, get in shape, build my writing career, start a travel group for like-minded women, get my skin and hair to its most fabulous and lusterous self, create more, read more, eat better, do better, be better etc. etc. etc…

Taking my baby to the airport after two weeks of frivolities and fun.

Street signs and announcements cover almost every inch of Hong Kong… 

For whatever reason, I’ve never been able to do just one thing. Not when I was a kid, not now. I make progress in one area and move on to the next, never seeing the first goal to fruition, or splitting focus between multiple priorities and losing all desire to complete anything at all. Even the teachings of Gary Keller’s The One Thing have been lost on me. I understand and agree with the logic, but for the life of me, I can not figure out how to make it take root in my day-to-day.

I don’t know why this is. I don’t know why I have trouble seeing things through. I don’t know why my passions and desires are so fleeting. I don’t know why I self-sabotage whenever I’m on the precipice of something that may actually serve me. At some point along this journey, I am sure the cause and effect will become clearer, and I can begin work on turning these bad habits around. For now (and for once maybe?), I’m taking things a day at a time. 

Finding Zen at Big Buddha…

No amount of cameras or editing tools could ever properly capture the true colors of this mesmerizing planet…

By the time my son left on August 26th, I had begun planning my next visa run, this time to Hong Kong. A few days before leaving, I entered another familiar depression cycle. I don’t know the cause, but I know it was a deeper depression like those I’ve suffered in years past. The type I naively thought I’d finally “beat” and put behind me for good. And it wasn’t just because my son left. It wasn’t simply because I was alone again. It, like my inability to see seemingly important things through, was/is rooted much deeper.

I felt myself failing again: not working out, barely motivated to work or write, endlessly doomscrolling one app after another, waffling on how to create content in the best/most authentic way, which, of course, led to me creating nothing at all. I was in a deep funk, and I had no idea why. So I did what any good lil #OGMILLENNIAL does anytime we have a standard-issue meltdown and I deleted all my social media apps… AGAIN.

That led to my arriving in Hong Kong without feeling the need to capture every little thing and document it on my Instagram Stories or Threads. I simply did not care if anyone knew I was in Hong Kong and did not feel the need to share my day-to-day; instead, I took in the sights and lived moment to moment. 

Playing with my drone at Kowloon Park after the typhoon… my hair and clothes were still wet, LMAO.

Playing with my drone behind Big Buddha, on Lantau Island

Where Bangkok and Seoul feel like sisters, as I took my first steps into the Pearl of the Orient, it became clear I was in another world altogether.

Holy Shit. I’m in China.

I spent my days walking through Kowloon neighborhoods and playing with my drone. Flitting in and out of pastry shops and fruit markets and marveling over the grandiosity of a city always in motion. I hopped on and off the trains and researched the closest hiking spots, ultimately settling for lazy afternoons in the park instead. I faced a typhoon head-on and finally acknowledged I should start paying more attention to the weather before embarking on the day’s adventures. I fought with Hong Kong’s time-limited wi-fi to piece together my work days. I bought presents for my loved ones. I went to Disneyland. I cut all the lines, rode whatever rides I wanted, and avoided those I didn’t (no Tea Cups or Small World for me). I ate all the caramel popcorn I desired and only half of my lunch. 

The perks of solo travel with no adult supervision.

I also decided to do a video diary every day I was in Hong Kong. I don’t know why the idea popped into my head, and I have no plan to ever post them anywhere, but I think something about the process of talking to myself and watching it back was cathartic and clarifying. 

From the first moments of trying to articulate my state of mind in the Don Mueang airport, nervously side-eying travelers in nearby seats who surely must be looking at and silently judging me (Oh, Narcissus, the tangled web you weave) to my first “oh shit I’m in China” moment, to feeding eggs to a bi-lingual frenchie, to the moments when an abusive ex created another fake account and try to contact me (BLOCKED again), to spending money without calculating the exchange rate first, to watching a cat stalk butterflies in the garden, and finally to the first freeing moments I felt that dark cloud begin to discipate, I caputured it all with my front facing camera and without filters of any kind.

And here we observe the urban Apex predator… surveying her kingdom and plotting her next move against a most fearsome opponent: the common garden butterfly.

The knowledge that there are multi-lingual animals in the world makes my soul smile… 

While it didn’t solve everything, the social media cleanse, video diary and drastic change of environment were what I needed to shed some of the residual dread, damage, and doubt I’ve been carrying with me these last few years. That’s not to say this is the first time I’ve made progress in those areas, but I will say it is probably the most significant progress I’ve made since leaving the States in March of last year. 

And somewhere between skydiving in Pattaya and searching for Stitch in Hong Kong, I decided I was done doing too much, and therefore I’m just going to STOP. Stop doing too much. Stop trying to build something new. Stop splitting my focus. Stop trying to fix everything. And with the space, time and energy I’ll gain from simply stopping? It’s time to start fixing my foundation.

And perhaps by divine intervention (or the universe finally getting tired of watching me do the most), while waiting to board my flight back to Bangkok, I once again spent money without calculating the exchange rate, ultimately and unintentionally laying the first bricks of my new foundation. Spending $40+ each on Take Your Own Advice by Jeffrey Marsh and The Daily Laws by Robert Greene became the catalyst I needed to finally create a bit of structure in my routines, and maybe, just maybe, start getting my shit together. For real this time.

Or at least until my next midlife sidequest becomes clear. But that, my friends, is a story for another, future day. 

featured gear

Not a Content Creator | Denim Cap

…just dope in real life.
 
A nod to those who live their truth without needing a digital spotlight. It’s not about rejecting influencers… it’s about celebrating the everyday awesomeness that doesn’t need a filter. Let the world know your life is epic, even if you’re perfectly content being the only one who lives it.

Shit you probably haven’t thought of… But Should Know: Hong Kong

I usually compile this information in deep-dive destination guides, but since I was only in Hong Kong for a week, I didn’t get the chance to fully settle in and “live” in the city the way I normally do. Still, a few big things stood out to me, so I pulled them together here as a mini-guide. Hong Kong is definitely a place I’d love to come back to, so if/when I return, I’ll update this little guide as I go.

Visa & Entry Info:

First things first, Hong Kong is NOT China proper. It has different visa restrictions, and while part of China, foreigners can not freely roam the massive country just by arriving in Hong Kong. My sister is an even more experienced traveler than I am, and she wasn’t able to make sense of exactly how the visa process works, what constitutes which tourist areas you can access, etc. Different provinces and districts have different rules and requirements, which further complicates the process. Could I have figured it out? Sure? But did I feel like trying to do so for a six-day trip? Yea… NO. LOL. 

Finances:

Nothing crazy to report in this section. Hong Kong isn’t the most affordable destination I’ve visited, but it also isn’t the most expensive. One unique find, however, when using my Capital One card at ATMs, I wasn’t charged any fees, not on the HK bank side and not on the Capital One side. I’m not sure if this applies to all US banks, but it was an added bonus while I was there. 

Transportation:

Transportation: Like many other well-developed countries, Hong Kong has a pretty robust public transportation system. From the airport, the easiest way to get into Hong Kong is via the MTR Airport Express train, which is built into the airport itself. If you’re headed to more abstract or hard to reach destinations, there are a variety of bus, train, and taxi combos. Once in HK proper (the airport is on one of the many surrounding islands, the MTR (train) goes almost anywhere. You can also use your debit card to swipe in and out of stations, as opposed to buying an individual ticket or transportation card.

If you do opt for an MTR card, go with the Octopus card. It’s a multi-payment option that you can load straight to your Apple Wallet (I’m not sure about Android), and you can use the card to pay for almost anything, anywhere. Different companies also offer perks and rewards when paying with Octopus. Again, if I end up spending more time in Hong Kong, I would test-drive this payment option to understand all of the benefits. 

Breakfast at Goodin’ Out Coffee…

Followed by dinner at Sepoy Mess.

Tech / Working Remotely:

Wifi: So, unlimited wifi in Hong Kong is really not a thing. Even at Starbies, wifi is limited to 30 minutes and can only be accessed by using a code from a receipt if you purchase something. This was true everywhere I went, from Starbucks to the malls to the train stations. In fact, the only place I had access to regular wifi was at the hotel. Additionally, most restaurants and coffee shops don’t have many outlets that can be used by the public. All-in-all, Hong Kong was the most accommodating for the remote work/digital nomad lifestyle. 

Power: Unlike Thailand and Cambodia, Hong Kong does not utilize a combination of U.S. and European-style plugs, so you’ll need an adaptor (luckily, my hotel provided one, because I left mine in Thailand). However, the voltage here is 220V, so most basic U.S.-based electronics will need a transformer to work properly. If you have internationally compatible devices, like most Apple products, you won’t need a transformer; just plug in and go.

Food:

As I mentioned earlier, Hong Kong isn’t exactly known for being budget-friendly, especially when it comes to eating out. That might have been amplified by the fact that I spent most of my time in and around Kowloon, but it’s easy for food costs to add up fast in HK.

That said, the city offers plenty of ways to eat well without overspending. Local markets, bakeries, and tiny food stalls make it possible to sample authentic flavors without completely blowing your budget.

And somewhere between café-hopping in search of the perfect spot to work for a day and stumbling upon a bilingual Frenchie absolutely owning everyone in Goodin’ Out Coffee, where I finally settled, I was reminded how much peace I find in life’s seemingly mundane moments: good food, cozy corners, and the company of animals. After feeding eggs to said Frenchie, spotting Corgis surfing through Hong Kong’s streets, and unwittingly sitting next to a local border collie meetup at Sepoy Mess, I realized I just might be ready for a furbaby again.

Attractions:

Disneyland: I love Marvel and Disney, I mean, what millennial doesn’t? And since I’ve already been to Disneyland Paris, I figured there was no reason not to hit Disneyland Hong Kong. The cost was reasonable, $85, and getting there on the train was easy. Souvenirs weren’t “cheap,” it’s Disney after all, but overall they were less expensive than the World and Lands of the States. There really weren’t any thrill rides, and most of the rides were more geared towards kids, but it was fun nonetheless. I went on a Wednesday, and the crowds were more than manageable, but it was HOT. As I found out firsthand, the weather in Hong Kong, especially in the fall, can be unpredictable, so check the weather before venturing out and prepare accordingly. 

Big Buddha: I didn’t do a lot of exploring while I was in Hong Kong, a mix of the weather, my budget, and the mindset I was in when I arrived. But one place I knew I couldn’t skip was the Tian Tan Buddha, better known as the Big Buddha, perched high above Lantau Island.

The 100-foot bronze statue that faces north toward mainland China somehow manages to feel both massive and peaceful at the same time. Normally, getting there is half the fun: the Ngong Ping 360 cable cars (sky gondolas) offer sweeping views of the mountains, ocean, and city as you make your way up. Unfortunately, they were closed for maintenance during my visit, which I wasn’t aware of until I got there. This meant I had to take a taxi, which was almost $30 each way. So the journey was expensive and a bit of an initial letdown, but by the time I reached the Big Buddha, it was all worth it.

Even without the ride, wandering through the Po Lin Monastery, climbing the long staircase to the Buddha, and playing with my drone in the open spaces well away from the temple felt grounding. Quiet, steady, and exactly what I needed. It was the perfect way to wrap up my time in Hong Kong and embark on my new foundational reset.

Just some of the architecture and history on the grounds of the Big Buddha monument.

Disneyland Hong Kong. Need I say more?

Plastics:

OMG, the Land of Plastic Hong Kong is not! Unlike other Asian countries I’ve visited (I’m looking at you, Thailand), Hong Kong places a heavy emphasis on reducing plastic waste. Almost all disposable items and food containers are made from paper (we’re definitely saving the turtles here, people), and public recycling bins can be found throughout the region. Hong Kong makes it too easy; there’s really no reason not to recycle. 

Potty Protocol:

Same as almost every other country I’ve visited. TP goes in the bin, not in the pot. 

Surfing Corgis in Hong Kong… 

…felt like a sign from my soul dog, Mia.

Language & Safety:

Safety: Like most Asian countries, Hong Kong feels extremely safe and welcoming. Again, I was only there a week, so I don’t have a lot of hands-on experience to pull from, but people were kind and helpful, even on the two occasions I was bested by public transportation. 

Language: Again, nothing major to report here. While not everyone speaks English, many people do, and a lot of signs, menus and information are all in English. While I’m a strong advocate for learning at least a few simple, common phrases in the local language of any country you spend significant time in, for only being in Hong Kong a week, I was able to get by without issue.

Weather & The Panda Channel:

Weather: At some point, I’m sure my lack of meteorological and environmental research will bite me in the ass. On the 2025 leg of this journey alone, I’ve now experienced two brand-new phenomena: an earthquake and a typhoon.

The earthquake hit while I was in Bangkok, but the typhoon rolled through during my time in Hong Kong, bringing days of gusty winds, sideways rain, and that eerie, electric calm that hangs in the air before a storm. Hong Kong’s weather is no joke: one minute you’re sweating through the humidity, the next you’re watching the skyline disappear into mist, and on your last day in HK, you’re met with the most brilliantly blue skies… because of course the weather decides to show off just as you’re leaving.

Panda Channel: Guys, Breaking News: Hong Kong has a 24-hour live panda channel. That’s right, nonstop, real-time pandas. I don’t know who needs to hear this, but it’s important.

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