Midlife Sidequests & Hong Kong Clarity
This is a combined life update post, as well as an insight into the basics of visiting Hong Kong. If you’re looking for the “Shit you should know, but probably haven’t thought of…” portion of this post, scroll just past the product feature. Updated 3/29 for publication on Substack.
Another 90 days in Thailand came and went, and this time it felt so much quicker. A major contributor? My son, my hijo, my world, my life, came to visit me in Bangkok. He stayed for two whole weeks, and for a moment, I got my heart back. We went shopping in Bangkok’s one million malls, ate ALL THE FOOD, had deeply personal and eye-opening conversations, and continued our favorite quality-time pastime by seeing F1 at the big fancy movie theatre in EmQuartier. Shit, we even went SKYDIVING, an act I NEVER thought would be part of my story. But damn, that shit was fun, and I think I may have found a new addiction.
I know I’m biased, but my kid is fucking amazing. He’s almost 22, is in school, has a good job, is a great pet parent, and has been in a loving relationship for almost three years. Where I failed in early (arguably all) adulthood, he is flourishing, and even if that’s “boring” (his words, not mine), it’s something I am exceptionally grateful for. As he’s gotten older and I’ve gotten healthier, especially mentally, my kid has become my sounding board, never afraid to give me hard truths, and no matter how deep they might cut, his words have always come from love and never steered me wrong.
Taking my baby to the airport after two weeks of frivolities and fun.
Street signs and announcements cover almost every inch of Hong Kong…
It was during our time together that many of the scrambled thoughts and ideas I’ve been flirting with over the last several months began to take shape, simultaneously making even more of my vices and shortcomings all the clearer. The most apparent of these is that I am always doing too much. Even in the midst of running on empty, I am always trying to do more: get my finances in order, rebuild my business, get in shape, build my writing career, start a travel group for like-minded women, get my skin and hair to their most fabulous and lusterous versions, create more, read more, love more, eat better, do better, be better etc. etc. etc…
For whatever reason, I’ve never been able to do just one thing. Not when I was a kid, not now. I make progress in one area and immediately move on to the next, never seeing the first goal to fruition, or maybe worse, splitting focus between multiple priorities, only to lose the desire to do anything at all. Even the teachings in Gary Keller’s The One Thing have been lost on me. I understand and agree with the logic, but for the life of me, I can not figure out how to make it take root in my daily (lack of) routine.
I don’t know why this is. I don’t know why I have trouble seeing things through. I don’t know why my passions and desires are so fleeting. I don’t know why I self-sabotage whenever I’m on the precipice of something that may actually serve me. At some point along this journey, I am sure cause and effect will become clearer, and I’ll eventually be able to begin the work of turning these bad habits around. For now (and for once maybe?), I’m taking things a day at a time.
Holy Shit. I’m in Hong Kong. While my senses and experiences view Bangkok and Seoul as sisters, taking my first steps into the Pearl of the Orient, it became clear that Hong Kong was another world altogether. The rich auntie that only comes around every other Christmas, drops off presents and nuanced innuendos of her fabulous life, then promptly leaves before any questions can be asked? Yes, SHE is Hong Kong.
By the time my son left at the end of August, I had begun planning my next visa run, this time to Hong Kong. A few days before leaving, I entered another familiar depressive cycle. I don’t know the trigger, but I know it was a deep depression like those I’ve suffered in years past. The type I naively thought I’d finally “beat” and put behind me for good. And it wasn’t just because my son left. It wasn’t simply because I was alone… again. It, like my inability to see anything through, was and is rooted much deeper.
I felt myself falling and failing again: not going to the gym, barely motivated to work or write, endlessly doomscrolling from app to app, waffling on how to create content in the best/most authentic way, which, of course, led to creating nothing at all. I was in a deep funk, and I had no idea why. So I did what any good lil #OGMILLENNIAL does anytime we have a standard-issue meltdown, and I deleted all my social media apps and external distractions… AGAIN.
By the time I headed to the airport, I didn’t feel the need to capture every little thing or document my journey on any platforms. I simply did not care if anyone knew I was in Hong Kong and did not feel the need to share my day-to-day with the masses (I know, concept so foreign to our generation). Instead, I took in the sights, felt all my feelings, and lived moment to moment.
Finding Zen at Big Buddha…
No amount of cameras or editing tools could ever properly capture the true colors of this mesmerizing planet…
Holy Shit. I’m in Hong Kong.
While my senses and experiences view Bangkok and Seoul as sisters, taking my first steps into the Pearl of the Orient, it became clear that Hong Kong was another world altogether. The rich auntie that only comes around every other Christmas, drops off presents and nuanced innuendos of her fabulous life, then promptly leaves before any questions can be asked? Yes, SHE is Hong Kong.
I spent my days lapping up her most auspicious energy by walking through the busy Kowloon streets and alleyways, playing with my drone and the local feline residents in its namesake park, flitting in and out of pastry shops and fruit markets, and marveling at the electric energy of a city always in motion.
I hopped on and off the trains and researched the closest hiking spots, ultimately settling for lazy afternoons in coffee shops instead. I faced a typhoon head-on (literally) and finally acknowledged I should pay more attention to the weather before embarking on the day’s adventures (both in Hong Kong and in the future). I fought with the city’s time-limited public wi-fi just long enough to complete the bare minimum of my work responsibilities. I bought presents for my loved ones and watched God’s most happy accidents on the 24-hour panda channel.
I went to Disneyland, and as a single adventurer, cut all the lines, rode whatever rides I wanted, however many times I wanted, and ignored those I didn’t (no Tea Cups or Small World for me). I took selfies and videos and happily sweated through my clothes. I bought more presents. I ate all the caramel popcorn I desired and only half of my lunch… because I am grown and I don’t have to finish my veggies if I don’t want to.
Ah, the perks of solo travel with no adult supervision.
Playing with my drone at Kowloon Park after the typhoon… my hair and clothes were still wet, LMAO.
Playing with my drone behind Big Buddha, on Lantau Island
Before leaving Thailand, I decided to do a video diary every day I was in Hong Kong. I don’t know why the idea popped into my head, and I have no plans to ever post said videos anywhere; still, something about the process of talking to myself and watching it back was at least as cathartic and clarifying as it was embarrassing.
From the first moments of trying to articulate my state of mind in the Don Mueang airport, nervously side-eying travelers in nearby seats who surely must be looking at and silently judging me (Oh, Narcissus, the tangled web you weave), to my first “oh shit” moment, to feeding eggs to a bi-lingual frenchie, to the moments when an abusive ex created another fake account to try to contact me (BLOCKED again), to spending money without calculating the exchange rate, to watching a cat stalk butterflies in the garden; and finally, to the first freeing moments I felt that dark cloud begin to dissipate, all captured with my front-facing camera and not a single filter in sight. Ooof… yeah, an Oscar-worthy performance it was not.
While my self-guided therapy sessions didn’t directly solve everything, the social media cleanse, video diary, and drastic change of environment were enough of a shock to the system to shed some of the residual dread, damage, and doubt I’ve been carrying with me these last several years. That’s not to say this is the first time I’ve made progress, but it is probably the most significant progress I’ve made since leaving the States last year and embarking on this grand adventure.
And somewhere between skydiving in Pattaya and searching for Stitch in Hong Kong, I decided I was just done doing too much. So…. I STOPPED. I stopped doing too much. I stopped trying to build something new. I stopped splitting my focus. I stopped trying to fix everything, everywhere, all at once. I stopped. And with the space, time, and energy I’m gaining from doing so? It’s time to begin the work of fixing my foundation.
And here we observe the urban Apex predator… surveying her kingdom and plotting her next move against a most fearsome opponent: the common garden butterfly.
The knowledge that there are multi-lingual animals in the world makes my soul smile…
And perhaps by divine intervention (or the universe finally getting tired of watching me do the most), while waiting to board my flight back to Bangkok, I spent money without calculating the exchange rate for the last time, unintentionally, yet ultimately laying the first bricks of my new foundation. I spent $40+ each on Take Your Own Advice by Jeffrey Marsh and The Daily Laws by Robert Greene, and by God or by Buddha, I will get my money’s worth.
So, let’s make these the catalyst to finally create a bit of structure in my routines, and maybe, just maybe, start getting my shit together.
For real this time… at least until my next midlife sidequest becomes clear. But that, my friends, is an adventure for another day.
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Shit you probably haven’t thought of… But Should Know: Hong Kong
I usually compile this information in deep-dive destination guides, but since I was only in Hong Kong for a week, I didn’t get the chance to fully settle in and “live” in the city the way I normally do. Still, a few big things stood out to me, so I pulled them together here as a mini-guide. Hong Kong is definitely a place I’d love to come back to, so if/when I return, I’ll update this little guide as I go.
Visa & Entry Info:
First things first, Hong Kong is NOT China proper. It has different visa restrictions, and while part of China, foreigners can not freely roam the massive country just by arriving in Hong Kong. My sister is an even more experienced traveler than I am, and she wasn’t able to make sense of exactly how the visa process works, what constitutes which tourist areas you can access, etc. Different provinces and districts have different rules and requirements, which further complicates the process. Could I have figured it out? Sure? But did I feel like trying to do so for a six-day trip? Yea… NO. LOL.
Finances:
Nothing crazy to report in this section. Hong Kong isn’t the most affordable destination I’ve visited, but it also isn’t the most expensive. One unique find, however, when using my Capital One card at ATMs, I wasn’t charged any fees, not on the HK bank side and not on the Capital One side. I’m not sure if this applies to all US banks, but it was an added bonus while I was there.
Transportation:
Transportation: Like many other well-developed countries, Hong Kong has a pretty robust public transportation system. From the airport, the easiest way to get into Hong Kong is via the MTR Airport Express train, which is built into the airport itself. If you’re headed to more abstract or hard to reach destinations, there are a variety of bus, train, and taxi combos. Once in HK proper (the airport is on one of the many surrounding islands, the MTR (train) goes almost anywhere. You can also use your debit card to swipe in and out of stations, as opposed to buying an individual ticket or transportation card.
If you do opt for an MTR card, go with the Octopus card. It’s a multi-payment option that you can load straight to your Apple Wallet (I’m not sure about Android), and you can use the card to pay for almost anything, anywhere. Different companies also offer perks and rewards when paying with Octopus. Again, if I end up spending more time in Hong Kong, I would test-drive this payment option to understand all of the benefits.
Breakfast at Goodin’ Out Coffee…
Followed by dinner at Sepoy Mess.
Tech / Working Remotely:
Wifi: So, unlimited wifi in Hong Kong is really not a thing. Even at Starbies, wifi is limited to 30 minutes and can only be accessed by using a code from a receipt if you purchase something. This was true everywhere I went, from Starbucks to the malls to the train stations. In fact, the only place I had access to regular wifi was at the hotel. Additionally, most restaurants and coffee shops don’t have many outlets that can be used by the public. All-in-all, Hong Kong was the most accommodating for the remote work/digital nomad lifestyle.
Power: Unlike Thailand and Cambodia, Hong Kong does not utilize a combination of U.S. and European-style plugs, so you’ll need an adaptor (luckily, my hotel provided one, because I left mine in Thailand). However, the voltage here is 220V, so most basic U.S.-based electronics will need a transformer to work properly. If you have internationally compatible devices, like most Apple products, you won’t need a transformer; just plug in and go.
Food:
As I mentioned earlier, Hong Kong isn’t exactly known for being budget-friendly, especially when it comes to eating out. That might have been amplified by the fact that I spent most of my time in and around Kowloon, but it’s easy for food costs to add up fast in HK.
That said, the city offers plenty of ways to eat well without overspending. Local markets, bakeries, and tiny food stalls make it possible to sample authentic flavors without completely blowing your budget.
And somewhere between café-hopping in search of the perfect spot to work for a day and stumbling upon a bilingual Frenchie absolutely owning everyone in Goodin’ Out Coffee, where I finally settled, I was reminded how much peace I find in life’s seemingly mundane moments: good food, cozy corners, and the company of animals. After feeding eggs to said Frenchie, spotting Corgis surfing through Hong Kong’s streets, and unwittingly sitting next to a local border collie meetup at Sepoy Mess, I realized I just might be ready for a furbaby again.
Attractions:
Disneyland: I love Marvel and Disney, I mean, what millennial doesn’t? And since I’ve already been to Disneyland Paris, I figured there was no reason not to hit Disneyland Hong Kong. The cost was reasonable, $85, and getting there on the train was easy. Souvenirs weren’t “cheap,” it’s Disney after all, but overall they were less expensive than the World and Lands of the States. There really weren’t any thrill rides, and most of the rides were more geared towards kids, but it was fun nonetheless. I went on a Wednesday, and the crowds were more than manageable, but it was HOT. As I found out firsthand, the weather in Hong Kong, especially in the fall, can be unpredictable, so check the weather before venturing out and prepare accordingly.
Big Buddha: I didn’t do a lot of exploring while I was in Hong Kong, a mix of the weather, my budget, and the mindset I was in when I arrived. But one place I knew I couldn’t skip was the Tian Tan Buddha, better known as the Big Buddha, perched high above Lantau Island.
The 100-foot bronze statue that faces north toward mainland China somehow manages to feel both massive and peaceful at the same time. Normally, getting there is half the fun: the Ngong Ping 360 cable cars (sky gondolas) offer sweeping views of the mountains, ocean, and city as you make your way up. Unfortunately, they were closed for maintenance during my visit, which I wasn’t aware of until I got there. This meant I had to take a taxi, which was almost $30 each way. So the journey was expensive and a bit of an initial letdown, but by the time I reached the Big Buddha, it was all worth it.
Even without the ride, wandering through the Po Lin Monastery, climbing the long staircase to the Buddha, and playing with my drone in the open spaces well away from the temple felt grounding. Quiet, steady, and exactly what I needed. It was the perfect way to wrap up my time in Hong Kong and embark on my new foundational reset.
Just some of the architecture and history on the grounds of the Big Buddha monument.
Disneyland Hong Kong. Need I say more?
Plastics:
OMG, the Land of Plastic Hong Kong is not! Unlike other Asian countries I’ve visited (I’m looking at you, Thailand), Hong Kong places a heavy emphasis on reducing plastic waste. Almost all disposable items and food containers are made from paper (we’re definitely saving the turtles here, people), and public recycling bins can be found throughout the region. Hong Kong makes it too easy; there’s really no reason not to recycle.
Potty Protocol:
Same as almost every other country I’ve visited. TP goes in the bin, not in the pot.
Surfing Corgis in Hong Kong…
…felt like a sign from my soul dog, Mia.
Language & Safety:
Safety: Like most Asian countries, Hong Kong feels extremely safe and welcoming. Again, I was only there a week, so I don’t have a lot of hands-on experience to pull from, but people were kind and helpful, even on the two occasions I was bested by public transportation.
Language: Again, nothing major to report here. While not everyone speaks English, many people do, and a lot of signs, menus and information are all in English. While I’m a strong advocate for learning at least a few simple, common phrases in the local language of any country you spend significant time in, for only being in Hong Kong a week, I was able to get by without issue.
Weather & The Panda Channel:
Weather: At some point, I’m sure my lack of meteorological and environmental research will bite me in the ass. On the 2025 leg of this journey alone, I’ve now experienced two brand-new phenomena: an earthquake and a typhoon.
The earthquake hit while I was in Bangkok, but the typhoon rolled through during my time in Hong Kong, bringing days of gusty winds, sideways rain, and that eerie, electric calm that hangs in the air before a storm. Hong Kong’s weather is no joke: one minute you’re sweating through the humidity, the next you’re watching the skyline disappear into mist, and on your last day in HK, you’re met with the most brilliantly blue skies… because of course the weather decides to show off just as you’re leaving.
Panda Channel: Guys, Breaking News: Hong Kong has a 24-hour live panda channel. That’s right, nonstop, real-time pandas. I don’t know who needs to hear this, but it’s important.
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