Barbados, Caribbean, Featured, Life, Popular

Three Weeks Back in Oz…

23 August

I’m writing this on the flight to Barbados after three weeks back in the States, and it feels like a weight has been lifted. I was in the States between my trips in South Korea and Barbados, with the first two weeks being fun, cool, welcoming and filled with the love and community often missing from the day-to-day life of a solo traveler. The time was spent with my Hijo, bestie, business partner, girls, family, my dogs, that one reliable guy that’s always fun and adds value, but (thankfully) contains no strings (think Season 2 Episode 14 of the original SATC… IYKYK) and of course, the gym and gym friends, because it’s Eat… Pray… Gym… no matter where I physically am at this point in my life. But by the third week, after returning to Dallas from Colorado Springs, the all-to-familiar existential dread of the last few years started setting in.

In post feature

Do It Anyway Gym Hat

I created this hat to match the tattoo I have on my collarbone, and to remind myself of how I should be living my life… there’s always a reason not to… It’s never the right time, someone is going to judge you, it costs too much, it will take too much time… whatever the goal there’s always a reason NOT to do it… which is why you should DO IT ANYWAY.

Do It Anyway | Gym Hat
$25.00

Add to cart

Birthday Shenanigans in Houston with the bestest bestie…

Drinks in Dallas with the girls…

The last week was a reminder that nothing is easy or guaranteed when it comes to working for yourself… which also roughly translates to I haven’t paid myself since early July and the bill collectors are starting to notice. While I was able to make a TON of progress on getting out of debt while in Barcelona and South Korea, that progress has stagnated since. I avoided the gym to save cash on the gas, tolls and time driving to my usual gym takes. Also, not sure why, but my kid and I just weren’t connecting… my depression began creeping back and I started (still am even as I’m flying over the Florida Keys) once again questioning what my purpose on this great big blue marble really is… and if I even have one.

"The last week was a reminder that nothing is easy or guaranteed when it comes to working for yourself… which also roughly translates to I haven’t paid myself since early July and the bill collectors are starting to notice."

I don’t know… I do my best not to go to these dark places, but feeling like I’m constantly taking one step forward and two steps back, no matter how hard I work and when, where and how I pivot, has really began taking its toll on this damn near fourty-year old mind, body and soul. Nevertheless, as I fly above the clouds, I’m feeling lighter, if ever so slightly. My journey began with a random upgrade from American Airlines, no idea why, but it meant earlier boarding and no checked bag fees, and on the flight from Charlotte to Bridgetown, an entire row to myself… I’m taking those as positive signs of what’s yet to come on this leg of my adventure. And while progress seems to be halted in my professional and financial timelines, I remind myself there’s still work to be done, including getting this site live (finally) and figuring out what I want to be when I grow up.

So, in the spirit of siempre avanti, no matter the obstacle ahead, let’s lay out some goals for my time in Barbados:

Get this website finished and live… and if you’re reading this, then woo hoo! Goal 1 has been achieved.
Get back on track financially, even if it means finding a part-time remote design gig.
Create Content – Not that I am an influencer, or am really trying to be, but what’s the point of spending the greater part of two years, if not longer, galavenatin around the world if I don’t document and analyze the pros, cons, and experiences, even if just for myself.
Figure out my niche – I don’t want to do the typical travel blog as travel isn’t the primary reason for this experiment (although who COULDN’T use a break from the current social, political and economic clusterfuck that is currently the United States). The primary point of this experience is to get my mind right and find peace (for the first time in my existence) and get out of debt. – I don’t value money, I value the freedom it affords… and I’m simply using travel as a means to expediate that process.
Continue the progress I’ve made in the gym and improving my overall physical health.
Be social – As I mentioned in previous posts, in Barcelona I felt like I was detoxing/going through withdrawls from the last twenty+ years of stress and bullshit, and in South Korea I was only focused on work. I don’t want to hit 40 and beyond as a solitary hermit. That will only exacerbate the depression and stress I’ve been working so hard to remove from my life. So… I need to get out of my shell, meet new people, and explore all the world (starting with Barbados) truly has to offer.
Find a high-quality, but inexpensive (of course) gold 1111 necklace. Random I know, but for the last few years this angel number has definitely made its presence felt in my life. And while I am not superstitious by any means, I don’t see how it can hurt to lean in a little more to my spiritual faith… in a higher power and also my own… that last part is long overdue…

Beaching in Barbados with my fave hat 🙂

So that’s it… that’s how we’re leaving the States and flying into Barbados. Let us Eat… Pray… Gym… it all goes to plan :). And even if it doesn’t, at least I have a great soundtrack to vibe too…

P.S. And this is IMPORTANT guys… If the random free upgrades and full rows weren’t enough to get my trip started in a beautiful way, there was a single stray dog at the airport when I landed and for whatever reason she chose to come right up to me and give me a welcome kiss on the ankle. If that’s not a sign of great things to come then I don’t know what is 🙂